The hand of God leads, guides, and directs us. The hand of God orchestrates all things to work together for our good. The hand of God gives us so much more than we deserve. The hand of God occasionally strips us of intellect, proper reasoning, rationalizing, and coping skills.
Though my brain trauma occurred in my youth, its manifestations often plague the daylights out of me. Someone close may say, “Oh look at him. He has it all together.” Not so, thus the subtitle of my new book- ‘Brain Injury, Divorce and New Beginnings.’ So yes, I did lose it all, but what I gained via the hand of God was priceless. My memory is gone; yet I compensate. Along with other brain injury survivors, I have learned coping strategies to put on a good front. Though, I have no more idea what I was doing an hour ago than the man in the moon. (Yes I do. Upon reediting, I was writing the initial paragraph an hour previous.)
With my cognitive struggles having been greatly impaired, I am now more sensitive to the struggles of others. I try to be compassionate. It is sometimes hard but my goal. My emotions shift like the Hawaiian seashore. They exasperate some, especially me, highs and lows. All from the hand of God. Behaviorally, I think I am doing alright and acting perfunctorily (hello Forrest:) missed you today).
You may remember my dramatic and repulsive struggle with forgiveness. As my memory is shot, I intensively struggle with forgiving folks who wrong me; or if I am the one in the wrong, this also besets me. Forgiveness and brain trauma actually had been a tentative subplot in my most recent manuscript. To this day–even now–this topic can devastate my world like nothing else. At the expense of God? At the hand of God? Or, permitted by God, perhaps.
Lately I have been invited into the throne room of God and gotten to behold His Presence. Answered prayer after answered prayer we have witnessed. I don’t believe He wants me to mention the requests for which we prayed, however I will my enlightening, insightful, reverential, respectful, and respectable prayer partner, Deanna Drake. It is more than a pleasure hearing her heart cry to the Lord.
Her story may be one of many we’re fixing to weave into the ‘New Beginnings’ portion of my book. Her life is absolutely incredible. From how it was reshaped, what she has been through, to what she is doing with it. Absolutely astonishing how remarkable her life is becoming. Believe the hand of God has gifted this young lady with awesome signs and wonders. Next post will tell of more of the survivors whose story will also be included.
No, not McDonald’s. But lovin’ the excellent day. Got so much done. Maybe tomorrow I’ll remember the exact sequence of events. Wait a minute. Met a marvelous young lady, Deanna Drake, at Taco Bell. See there? That’s why I was loving it. Run for the border, baby. Anyway, just like many do not realize I have a brain injury (until maybe they see my physical symptoms and inquire), they can not rationalize Deanna’s plight, who has a brain injury as well. Not that you’d know it. It’s almost like she’s up a creek without a paddle. The majority of folks in the world do not understand us, the brain-injured. They cannot understand us. Unless you have had a TBI, you don’t know what we’re talking about. Only in theory could you try to comprehend. I have read a few books by physicians who have been brain-injured and they talk about it. Very insightful. You better believe their struggle is real. So, most people cannot understand us and accurately, nor we them, but often wonder to myself who it is that has more capacity to comprehend the situation, us or normal people? Spouses often grumble “Well I’m not normal. I have this or that wrong.” Wonder how many times I heard that one. How would they like having to function and compensate with half a mind or their beleaguered mind having had to repair neurons and brain signals just to function at the lesser capacity in which they do? If the shoe were on the other foot, might be a different story. Anyway, what a blessing to meet Miss Deanna; and what an encouragement we can be to each other.
Great lunch at Taco Bell, after working out at the fitness center. Able to work a lot on my new manuscript as I was sitting there sipping Diet Coke. Wrote a lot for section two, New Beginnings. Using aliases for the many characters I have in the story. So it is being written from the third-person perspective. The fellow authoring it is a guy named Julio or Pedro…..can’t remember.
Next book I’m working on-
‘Till Divorce Do Us Part: Brain Injury, Divorce, & New Beginnings’
Sad to say looking like our marriage has reached the end is fixing to terminate. Very sorry for the children and what ill effects they might experience. Yet thankful in a sense to release my family from dealing with my idiosyncrasies. Nevertheless, excited for what the future might hold for me.
So I’m at Taco Bell, right? On the way up to get a refill of my drink before leaving, I happened to say hello to another patron. Miss Jessica and her little son were enjoying their lunch. They’d just walked from Walmart, which wasn’t too far away. But it wasn’t too hot yet. Offered to give them a ride back to their car. Know you shouldn’t do that but I did.
They declined and we began talking about my book and writing projects. Expressed much interest in ‘Till Death Do Ua Part,’ and they happen to live not far from us. Seemed like they understood the subplot of having a brain injury and being forever changed. May meet them or something soon to give them a copy.
Miss Jessica also comment commented how trying and overwhelming it would be as us for parents to watch our own young children having to go through something like that. Blessed. And it’s a blessing to bless others.
At lunch today with Alyssa at Taco Bell, we happened to sit by a gal with her two young children, ages 1 and 3. Got to talking and she said she and her husband really wanted to read my book. Said they’ll review it for me on Amazon (thank you, Miss Jessica and husband), then pass it along to others. We’re trying to expose awareness of brain injuries….which is why I’m putting this next book together. Slowly.
Loving the brain injury support group on facebook that I’m a part of. Wonderful to have a group of people all over the world who have been affected by brain trauma and realize and comprehend what each other is going through. Most of these would be brain injuries and it does include a number of caregivers and medical personnel. Privilege to have a good relationship with a number of them. Messaging several on fb and usually speaking to another on the cellphone on a regular basis. Jamie and Asheley, two brain injury survivors who are combatting this wicked condition without physical symptoms in a way have a harder time. In a way a blessing, but in another quite unfortunate in that the majority of people do not understand the intricacies of their/our condition. (Just with my physical impairments it may be more obvious.) Most people usually do not take the time of day to understand or rationalize that they are not making up their impairments, their symptoms and unfortunate characteristics up. And so glad I’m thinking of this late at night now….maybe some of it can be used in an upcoming book I’m working on. Excited to get to work with Jamie nearly every other month; and those locally from the hospital’s brain injury support group on a more frequent basis, and also my other friend from church who was in my small group. Yes, it is a delight but also a tragedy there are so many of us. This only represents a sample. If research from my book holds true, unless more frequent now, a TBI occurs every fifteen seconds.
Whoa, dude. It has really been a late-night, long hours thing for me again already. Contract with Strategic Book Publishing and Rights Agency and they’re behind me/us full force. In reference to the book project, may refer to it first-person or third. Understand there are two of us, Jamie and myself. The book is non-fiction, title still TBD, though we think we have a pretty good handle on it at this point. Long hours recently (till 3 a.m. this morning) trying to get the book outline organized and other sections written of it. A lot of good thoughts. Very, very excited and we’ll meet up again here before long to go over a lot of things.
Exciting developments, exciting research and good news from the publisher. Also excited about my next few meetings coming up. So much good news today, am so blessed to have uncovered and discovered all I did. Unlocked some hidden drawers in the scenario, which may prove quite useful. Had lunch with a good friend and doctor’s appointment. Made a good book contact. Blessed today!