1. “relationships change with our adult children when (they get older). How do we give advice- should we? Most grandparents are caught in a dilemma of helping two generations without being judgmental or overly intrusive.” (11)
2. “parents…face many common struggles in seeking to relate positively to our adult children while at the same time maintaining our own mental and spiritual health” (12)
3. “‘The choice to be a parent is the choice to have your heart walking around outside your body as long as you live.’ (Anonymous) You are concerned because they are a part of you. The question is, ‘How do I channel my concern?’” (Campbell, Chapman) (12)
4. “‘traditional’ family diminished in importance as our culture became more mobile and diverse.” (16)
5. “There are roles that parents can and should play in the lives of their adult children….we need to better understand our grown sons and daughters.” (17)
6. “great numbers of well-trained young people are looking for fewer and fewer high-paying positions.” (17)
7. “Today’s young people have a different idea of what constitutes ‘the good life.’” (18)
8. “In asking for parental help, they seem to be saying, ‘I need more from you, Mom and Dad.’” (18)
9. “an expectation that Mom and Dad will fund portions of their lives.” (18)
10. “long time to grow up….maturing more slowly; we watch some of them beginning to take responsibility for their lives around age thirty.” (20)
11. “creating a new phase of life between dependent childhood and independent adulthood.” (21)
12. “These differing viewpoints would not be so conflict-producing if our expectations were only for our own lives; but when our expectations lean on our children and seem to create pressures for them, trouble is just around the corner.” (21)
13. “As one father said some years ago, ‘I thought that when the kids were grown, they would take care of themselves, but that isn’t the case. When they marry and have children, my wife and I have that many more people to take care of.’” (22)
14. “a level of emotional dependence he hadn’t expected.” (22)
15. “Parents also find themselves in confrontations with their adult children over dashed expectations.” (22)
16. “We still have many parents and children who work through and enjoy their new relationships as the child becomes an adult.” (22)
17. “Like you, your children care about their future, and they are wrestling to know what to do.” (22-23)

Takeaway points, “How to really love your adult child,” Drs. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. (Chapter one)

Can’t wait…this next book I have started will be good, also! Plenty of good research.

Yippee! Things coming together. Kelly is really going to help me. I appreciate her eyes and help…don’t know what I’m doing either. Suggests me totally removing myself from the manuscript once I finish editing the final 85 pages and typing the revisions into the document. May be hard to do, but I’ll try. May start reading for my other book projects- they take so long start to finish anyway (3-5 years minimum): Autism, Strong-Willed Parent, or The Bahamas. But not to bother with the other manuscripts nearly finished, Mitochondrial disease, Brain injury/PTSD, or the other one.

Progress is made if you progress. Persistency, consistency, tenacity. Who said “break time”? Not a bit. Always on my mind, ‘The Book of James: The Brain Injury, Life, and Legacy of James Clary, Jr.’ Got home from Subway, where I work 3-5 hours in the morning on it. As far as I know, the others I have written about in the past who have offered to help me have slipped away or we’ve lost touch for some reason.

Having dinner with my proofreader, Miss Kelly. Seemed interested to know the plot of the book. She is going to be a huge help, I see it already. Apparently some knowledge of brain injury, made a few remarks. Looking forward to her feedback.

Well, friends, our roads often present us with detours and dead-ends. So, we should be persistent, filled with fortitude, and overcome. Persevere, tenacious, bold as a lion.

Looks like my book project is changing. For the first time ever, I have commenced on two writing projects (besides the four manuscripts already on the shelf being paused). Not to let the year or more of research and study and writing be for naught on one of the books (roughly six hours a day at least, including weekends; which wouldn’t account for the nighttime hours and lost sleep when I thought of ideas…and the very limited amount of television and extra-curriculars I have participated in), things may be changing. Or altered, to an extent. ‘The Book of James,’ which now will not be, has become, “Vanished: Lost and Broken: subtitle The Transformation of Grief and Death.” The second, “The Strong-Willed Parent: Taming the Tongue.” Many great resources, ordered a few earlier: ‘The explosive mama’ and one by Dobson. Began rereading Lisa TerKeurst, ‘Uninvited’, this morning. Many great points to expound on. I have obtained many texts, emails, and quotations from insightful subjects and am delighted to share these.

One paragraph from the second book project:  “When the words we hear for whatever reason give us the feeling that we are not accepted, the sense that others do not want us in their world also comes about. The lie that we are not worthy stems from this unacceptance. Self-rejection originates from our feelings of not being worthy. This produces suspicion, doubt, hesitancy, plus other liabilities hindering great relationships.  ‘Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.” (TerKeurst, 9)

Thankful for the doors God has opened.

Began considering to get a PhD in brain injury studies.  Many projects are out there.  Would this give my books more credence?  Or just continue as is? Thinking it might be too much work.

It is happening.
What is happening?
It is.
Good stuff
Bad stuff
We like good stuff
Good stuff is happening
A lot of it
A little bad stuff
It is
A little
A teency, weency little
Mostly good stuff
Happening

Excellent visiting with my cousin and husband recently. Had fun recollecting our life journeys and experiences. They shared the joys of parenting, numerous strategies, tricks, and pitfalls to avoid. They helped me envision another book project several years down the road. After the autism book, mitochondrial disease, brain injury/PTSD, and The Bahamas. May not necessarily be written in that order but already an interested publisher.

I am on the 12th edit/revision stage of The Book of James. Some say too much editing, but still so much I have missed. Sounds like Debby and Jim are doing well. As pleased as punch when they received a copy of the 11th manuscript. Don’t tell, but sounds like Mr. Jim is wanting some more golf lessons. Planning to tee it up before long with him….hope I don’t scalp him. Told him my winter rates apply.

Excited to speak to Debby over the weekend. Please pray for her. Health concerns. Me as well, stay healthy and tenacity. Emailed her the latest draft (tenth) of the project. She won’t get to see my latest round of revisions….still editing. Adding a chapter, actually, or replacing one this time. Throwing in and noting a table of Scripture references, the different translations of the Bible being used. So happy about the way things are going. Believe it will be wonderful. God gets the glory.

So happy for a seven-plus hours editing so far on the manuscript. Excited to hear what Debby thinks, based on the dream section I’ve envisioned. For all that God has helped me do and the thoughts He has given. They say certainly inspired; also that James and I were inextricably linked. Yes, a common bond shared by those who know what brain injury truly is. Even doctors, parents, caregivers….some try to understand and do their research. Some try to understand. Some try to read up so they can better accommodate the brain injured. Unfortunately they can’t really understand. Debby does not like to say challenged, she does not like to refer to us as impaired. Plain and simple: injured. We are grateful for those who are empathetic and do their best to understand. Excited to see what Debby thinks of the chapter division and so forth. Thankful for my next trip to Sacramento, several more interviews and to meet the filmmaker.

‘Why do bad things happen to good people?’ we often wonder. In reality, it only happened once. Only one good person. Think about it.

You don’t know how well off you have it until you look around and see someone else struggling and worse off.

Been mentoring a few people. One in particular, pray for this one, a dear friend of mine from Ohio. Terminal cancer. If you read this, please pray. Erica’s life expectancy 5-10 years. Honestly, we don’t know if the world will last that long, if God won’t return before then, but think of this one. That’s a real blow. Praying for salvation, first of all. That God would author the spiritual miracle, then medical. Funny thing, wouldn’t be miracles to Him, just God being God. I’m praying strength and provision for Erica’s sister. An awful marriage situation that ended badly. Or actually in God’s will, just the way it should have because this, RIGHT NOW, is what God wants. I believe He wants us where we are presently so we will grow and learn from Him. May this one and all of us meditate on Genesis 22.14. Yahweh Yireh, THE LORD SHALL PROVIDE. Proverbs 3.5-6. John 14.6.

Thank You, Jesus. Sustain us.

Recently been visited by an astute mind. Haven’t heard all this aspiring author’s story, we may link up and attempt to better one another one day. Sounds like she has been attacked by some unfortunate circumstances in her life. Am crazy busy now yet may try to help get her experiences in print. Maybe a movie one day? From what she has said, fixing to be exciting. “Living in the front” is the theme she gave me; or the website; or the book title. One day at a time, one moment at a time. Patience. Can’t wait to see what develops. Thought of this title, should we choose to go for it: Allie’s Maladies.

Be still, Oh Lord. In the stillness, You are there. Appreciate recharging each morning at Subway, have some excellent thoughts there. Looks like I’m about halfway through the manuscript on this eighth edit on seven printed copies. This manuscript broke my laser printer, too. Two for two, one had broken with debut book. Seems I’m creating a little community interest in The Book of James. Definitely getting the word out. Like Debby says, we need to educate people what is up with brain injuries. May be having dinner soon with a friend of mine, Pam. Seems she is excited to learn about the projects. What up, doc? Or like we said in college, Word up? A lot. 95,301 words.